Tuesday, October 12, 2010

27 Lessons of a 27 Year Old

Have you ever experienced a “Light Bulb Moment?” You know, when an animated thought bubble physically pops up on the side of your head with a flashing, yellow light bulb inside, indicating you have an idea, epiphany or FINALLY have it ALL figured out? I get those all the time; now, more than ever before. It comes a time in your life when everything all starts to make sense and that time usually comes after a great experience and/or tragedy provokes a lesson that you finally decided to learn from. At the ripe age of 27, I can confidently say, I’ve learned the most valuable lessons of life; all at the perfect age. When you’re 20-24 you’re generally too cynical to embrace a lesson that life wants to teach you and when you’re 28/30+ years of age, you begin to settle in your own special ways of dealing with what life brings. I remember I use to give out advice about ALL kinds of subjects when I was 20-24. And although I was MUCH wiser than my peers and some people older than I, looking back now, I didn’t know SHIT! My words may have been useful and thought provoking but if it has never happened to YOU, it has never happened and my experiences as a minor had nothing on those experiences to come. Ages 25-28 are the PIVITOL ages where your opinions and views begin to change and you become wiser. Believe me, what I liked, felt and knew at 21 was NOT the same at 25 and now at 27, when I look back at 25, I see a very small glimpse of the woman I am today. So, with all that in mind, I decided to create a list of 27 lessons you should have learned by 27. I speak ONLY from ACTUAL EXPERIENCE so I hope you enjoy.

1. Bad things DO in fact happen to good people.

2. Being an adult can be fun as hell when you are acting like a child.

3. Your health is your life! Eat right, take care of your body, exercise and go to the doctor.

4. Most of the time what you are looking for is right in front of you.

5. Time heals all wounds….REGARDLESS of how you feel right now.

6. Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity. It could change the entire direction of your life.

7. Greed will kill the lucky eventually.

8. First impressions are fucking worthless 50% of the time! You have to go deeper.

9. Stepping outside of your comfort zone will put things into perspective from an angle you can’t even grasp right now. (In time you’ll get it)

10. Your actions now create memories you will reminisce and talk about when you’re old and gray.

11. Love has NOTHING to do with looks, but everything to do with TIME, TRUST, RESPECT & INTEREST.

12. If you never act, you will never know for sure and will forever base things on ASSUMPTION.

13. Motivation comes in short bursts. Act as SOON as it hits.

14. Uncertainty is caused by a lack of knowledge. Hesitation is the product of fear.

15. Laughing, crying, joy and anger… All are a vital. All make us human. You need them ALL.

16. Kindness and hard work will take you further than intelligence or some expensive ass degree.

17. Marry the person that you say is “like my best friend” or “reminds me of my dad/mom and/or brother/sister” Gravitate towards those qualities, not run to the opposite. You’ll lose.

18. EVERYBODY deserves a second chance, but NOT third.

19. Document and take LOTS of pictures. Looking back on every photo will provoke a smile.

20. Take OWNERSHIP of your failures, mistakes and FUCK-UPS. It builds the foundation for success.

21. Don’t purposely ignore the OBVIOUS. It promotes foolish choices. Stop it.

22. Even when society seems consumed with superficiality, remain TRUE. Even the fake recognizes real at the end of the day. Don’t compromise. (Apply this to relationships, physical appearance, music, etc.)

23. Nostalgia is tricky and trusting it could be a setback. Unless you’re planning to go that way, looking BACK should never be one of your options.

24. Good credit can be a life line. Don’t fuck it up.

25. Carelessness is the quickest route to failure.

26. All people are tools. The key is to positively use and be used wisely.

27. ANYTHING, if done too long will become a habit. PRACTICE thinking, acting and believing in love, positivity, truth, peace, change and you will eventually BECOME those things.

Welp, that’s it! I hope my younger readers take heed to my words, my older readers feel me and my 25-27 year olds are preparing for their transformation. It’s a beautiful process! Learning and growing NEVER stops; anticipating my next phase in life. God bless you all!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

REVENGE IS A SEDUCTIVE LITTLE BITCH

The sound of The Foreign Exchange serenades my office. Then there’s me: completely relaxed, sitting at my desk sipping on a cup of green tea in an almost nirvana like state. My thoughts replay the events and emotions of my day as I randomly burst into laughter.

Not a chuckle, but like an “I’m watching Martin Lawrence: You So Crazy stand up” laugh……smh… Revenge. What the hell is revenge exactly? Merriam-Webster says its “retaliation; an opportunity to gain satisfaction for wrongs done” It’s like “getting even” if you will…So say if you stole my jacket and I steal your shoes, we’re even right? We’ve both experienced a loss, revenge was served, right? Ooh, if it were only that simple my friends!

Generally when a person is wronged, tit for tat is NOT enough. The person initially wronged wants to “up the ante” because the feelings felt are NEVER equal. The sensation you get is undeniable when revenge offers you a sweet allure and seduces you into thinking “since I’m hurt or I’m embarrassed or I was fooled, I’m going to make them feel how I feel, I’m gonna make them feel ashamed about themselves or I’m gonna make them see the consequences of their actions in public." Trust me, I know the feeling all too well but at some point in your life you have to raise the question “How does me feeling SO good about getting revenge on another person make ME look?” Stupid, that’s what! You are pretty much saying with your ACTIONS “Hey, YOU can’t do that to me!” Well guess what? Someone JUST did! Please believe the satisfaction of revenge is SO INSTANT. Once the smoke settles and the peanut gallery moves on to the next public drama, the truth of the matter is that you’re STILL hurt, you’re STILL offended and you STILL feel EVERYTHING you felt BEFORE retaliating, so why even waste your fucking time? Ultimately, you’re gonna end up RIGHT back at the place you started from, cruising down Looking Dumb Boulevard! Trust. Experience was my greatest teacher…

It’s evident that men feel with their pride and ego and women feel with their emotions. When men feel violated or “stunted on” they feel as if their man hood was compromised, so they aim to “stunt” harder, get MORE bitches than the next dude and a mixture of a whole bunch of other superficial bullshit. However, when a woman’s feelings are hurt, the act of revenge can eclipse any thought or act she could ever imagine she would do. Just look at Steve McNair. He was a football star, happily married with children; wanted to gas up a side bitch and look what happened;

She KILLED that nigga AND herself! All because her “feelings” were hurt. Smh… Revenge is NOT sweet, it’s bitter! The issue with revenge is that it plants a nasty little seed that gives off a nasty little blossom. We ALL know bitter bitches and brothas when we see one. You know, the chick or dude who months or even years later, is STILL reciting the evils done to them by someone else, and still telling the tale of what they did in return. Feelings fester when we do not deal with them directly. We may not see it, but the people around us certainly do.

So, to shorten a blog I could perpetuate profusely, peeps you have to be more aware of your actions and reactions towards people. Be confident that what a person puts out into the universe, they will get back, both good and bad. Note to chicks: quit tryna create a person’s Karma because “you mad”. In due time, all the stars will align and God will present the master design of Karma to an individual so profound, they will be forced to grow and learn from it. I am a living testament. Don’t be SO salty that you allow yourself to get enticed by revenge’s sweet nectar. Be easy. Be wise. Desire growth. Practice maturity. Love.

*sits back, pops popcorn and watches the karma induced adaptation of a man*


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

WOMEN: 911 EMERGENCY!!

Ok, I am CONVINCED the milk has gone bad and people have gone MAD! A few days ago at the salon, I came across a flyer with photos of curvy models in scantily clad clothing and bikinis. Nothing too out of the norm right? Clearly, this flyer represented a party or an event, right? Wrong!! The heading stated in bold letters: MODELS ON THE MOVE: Building Self-Respect 1 Young Lady at a Time! What the fuck! Ok, let me get this straight, a group of video/magazine models (not super/fashion models) got together and came up with the idea to start a program to mentor young girls about having self-respect and confidence???? Who is in charge of putting “oxy-moron” in the Kool-Aid these days? There is NO way these women think parents will sign their kids up to be a part of a program about self-respect, TAUGHT by women who objectify themselves for a living, right? How can you teach young girls how to represent themselves respectfully when you CURRENTLY advertise yourself for money so men can purchase and disrespect your image? Say it aint so! Use your program to give back to charities or communities NOT our innocent baby girls! They need to see that there are MORE options in life than displaying their cute face or perky breast or phat ass to the masses. Parents, would you want THIS woman advising your impressionable daughter about ANYTHING?





Didn’t think so.
This catastrophe of an idea and program prompted the question in my brain: How the hell will women evolve in the future? Have we given up our power when we conformed into the new “us”? Are we as women the reason today’s average man won’t settle down with just one woman?






The new independent woman is all about her money, her career and being in control of almost EVERY aspect of her life. That’s all great but has that drive to attain all of the above destroyed our sensibility, respectable boundaries and undeniable but unspoken power over these men and ourselves? It seems like we as women have opted for enhancing our beauty and body parts versus our knowledge and wisdom. Pretty over personality? Really? More women have become more inviting with their sex and sexuality, that it kills the fantasy for men. These bastards are greedy as hell and it’s OUR fault! Our sexual enigma and our pussy is our power and the more we offer visually and physically, with NO substance behind it, the more we LOSE that power. And I’m just throwing it out there, but I think we losing like a muhfucka! We’ve ALL made the mistake of giving it up too soon (either we wanted the strings or not), stayed with a dude that treated us wrong or doing things that didn’t really display the character you “thought” you had. However, we can’t re-gain control and win back our power over them by playing the game their way. I’m 27 and I only have 2 girlfriends that are married or have a good man and I KNOW the others are good women. But they fucked up by giving their dudes too much freedom and too much control over the direction and progress of the relationship. (I’m in that bunch by the way). Men HAVE to be groomed. If we give them too much rope they ARE gonna hang themselves. We have created this overall fun, exciting and sexual image of ourselves as woman today. Not saying we can’t be true to that but trying to maintain that image instead of setting boundaries of respect and elevating his overall relationship experience will leave you fucked every time. Your antics will become boring to him and he will replace you with a similar rendition of you, who will also get replaced eventually.


Moral of the story: If we keep going at the rate we are going a REAL WOMAN will only be able to be found in a MUSEUM! Respectable women have the power over themselves, their image and their relationships with men. Display the image you want the world to receive. If you enjoy being objectified, its all love. Just stay in your place and be used as the tool you are and nothing more. If you want more, treat your sex/body like a Faberge Egg. Don’t lose your luster by giving it out/advertising to the undeserving or unappreciative. It’s never too late to re-arrange your path. Only women who are TRULY GOOD WOMEN can change a player/pimp into a GOOD MAN. And if you’ve never had the pleasure of assisting in such a task, point a finger to the mirror. #MESSAGE! Lol…Aye, and if any of u know the chicks behind the Models on the Move organization, guide them here. Thaaannnnkkks!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Society's Paradox

What a crazy world we live in! Today, I partook in a facebook thread with my play-cousin T.J. Forbes, where he said the quote, The DOWNLOW is OBVIOUSLY the APPARENTAlthough, it was funny as it related to the humorous topic we were on, it was also a very profound, paradox of a statement. It made me think, Has society become so jaded by television, movies, music and porn to the point where an excess in horror, violence, money, nudity and homosexuality doesn’t even faze us one bit? And I’m not saying that it should bother us but we like things presented to us in such a raw, “in your face” manner that we are not getting the subliminal message that is clearly apparent.

I’ll start with homosexuality in men. Back in the day, you had a set stereotype of what a gay male looked like from his clothing, hairstyle, tone of voice, and body language. As society matured throughout the years, homosexuality no longer owns an appearance….or does it? Can men on the “down low” express themselves via fashion and overall style and blame it all on the current fashion trends? I think so.

QUESTION: When is the current style of skinny jeans ever sexy on a straight man?

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Ummmmm......NEVER! I don’t think any “REAL” straight man, even the fashion savvy ones, would buy skinny jeans, I just don’t. Most men would think they were unattractive and more importantly, not useful. Where would they put their wallet? How would they fit their big hands in their pockets? Why would they want to squeeze (literally) their muscular, hairy, manly legs in a pair of tight, uncomfortable pants? Would the tightness irritate and/or affect their package? Hence, if the “alleged” straight man is caught in a pair, they can say “it’s the style”, “I’m showing off my high-top sneakers”, when the truth is, APPARENTLY, those are just some gay ass pants!.....OBVIOUSLY! Let’s be real ladies, you and your man shouldn’t own the same articles of clothing unless it sports paraphernalia!

What about men with hair-do’s like women? Why? Men that wear bobs, Shirley Temple curls and Halle Berry/Fantasia/Keyshia Cole hair cuts are NOT straight….PERIOD. (i.e. Realty TV stars Chance, Real and their brother) Stop blaming those do’s on the fact that you have “good hair.” A straight man and Rihanna should not be rocking the same do…. APPARENTLY, it’s something wrong with that….OBVIOUSLY!
One more thing, just because an “alleged” straight guy, who is an OBVIOUS candidate for being on the DL, has a hot chick on his arm or has sex with hundreds of women does not solidify his straightness either. EVERYBODY is attracted to gorgeous women, especially, gay men! Why do you think they live for mega-diva stars like Janet Jackson, Madonna, Angelina Jolie and Beyonce? ( i.e. Prince was married to the most beautiful woman in the world and he wear make up, stilettos and ass-out jeans! WTF?)
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Our jadedness seriously has us confused. APPARENTLY, they admire and idolize these women MORE than they are attracted to them……OBVIOUSLY! If your man sings along to “I need a Soldier” by Destiny’s Child like it’s nobody’s business..…..You might want to investigate further….OBVIOUSLY!

Moving Along….

Does anybody find it strange that your TV will become extinct if we all don’t conform and obtain a digital box? The government usually likes to hide things from us and I feel this is no different….or is it? We’ve had operating televisions with channels 2,4,7,20,50 and 62 for years and now it just ends all of a sudden? APPARENTLY, it’s a well thought out reason for this….OBVIOUSLY! I personally think our lives are going to be like THE TRUMAN SHOW or BIG BROTHER. Somebody’s watching us and if you don’t believe me, Try cooking and cutting up 50 pounds of cocaine in front of the TV after February 18, 2009 and watch how fast the feds come busting in on your ass to take you to jail just because you wanted to watch 106 & Park while working! LOL…..It sounds radical and maybe a little far-fetched but is it really? APPARENTLY, maybe not.

Next Thing…

Gas prices are AMAZING these days right? I haven’t seen prices like this since 2002 and then Bush was elected and we haven’t seen those days since…until now. Has change come already? Go Barack! YES WE CAN! Ha! Lol…..Enjoy this commodity while you can. APPARENTLY, George “Dubba-Yuh” Bush is STILL the president. OBVIOUSLY, this arrangement could have been worked out sooner but NO, it wasn’t. Furthermore, from November 4th to January 19th we are going to be elated to take advantage of filling our tank up with just a twenty dollar bill while seemingly, on January 20th when Barack is sworn in, gas is going to shoot back up to $4.00 and guess who America’s going to blame? You got it! Barack Obama! APPARENTLY, Republicans’ want the throne back and wants you to feel we were better off under their regime. Don’t be fooled people and be patient with Obama. APPARENTLY, as easy and smooth as it was to win this election, it’s going to be that much rockier to get through one term as a black dude. Believe it….It’s OBVIOUSLY reasonable.

I could go on for days. All I’m saying is not everything comes with “fine print” or you don’t always have to read in between the lines. When things seem apparent to the mind and/or eye, it is what it is. Sometimes reading deeper is unnecessary when the answer is OBVIOUSLY on the surface. Pay Attention!